Rudolph the Little Drummer Snowman's Day

Recently, a security guard of moderate intellect waxed idiotic about what the world would be like if the Christmas Spirit existed the entire year. This hypothetical has enjoyed more moronic speculation than most. As with all genuinely felt innocuous idle chat with random people, I gladly supported his 'happy thought' moment. That is until he proclaimed that bit-o-ridiculousness: "I don't know if you're a religious man, but..."

Translation possibilities:
1. "Are you religious? I am."
2. "Whatever you believe about religion, it is of no matter to me because I AM religious and I am NOT hesitant to say so, which makes me better. So HA!"
3. "With religion, Christmas has REAL meaning. I know because I can feel it."
4. "The world would be a better place without non Christians. By the way: What are YOU?"
5. "I have not critical thought capacity, so take me seriously."
6. "Blah blah blah, I'm a blathering idiot."


He was a nice enough fellow in spite of his obvious adherence to the easily fooled part of himself. I wished him a heartfelt Merry Christmas, shook his hand, and left. No other action would have produced a better outcome.